Remind Her Who You Are

Updated: Apr 16

Charles Mendler, MS, LMHC, CCHt


I am going to share a situation that is so common, with regards to relationships, and with regards to men. We forget who we are, at times, and we must embrace we are doing nobody any good by holding back on who we are. When we find ourselves projecting negativity onto the world around us, it means we know deep down we are holding back on ourselves. The best way for us to feel better about ourselves is for us to remind ourselves who we are.

I am not saying this applies to everyone, so if you know you have been consistent with you doing what you need to do for yourself, awesome. If you are someone who knows you have been holding back on yourself, leading to you questioning who you are, what you are doing in your relationship, whether you are safe any longer, or whether she is still feeling you the way she once did, it is time for you to REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!


It is very easy not worrying about anyone else, meaning life can be so much easier when you are not worrying about "what she is doing." When a single guy first meets the woman who is just different than the others he has experienced, meaning he thinks he may have found someone he wants to spend way more time with, it is essential this guy continues to do all the things he was doing when he first met her. If he does not, over time, he loses who he was, and this can then lead to the woman he changed for no longer being into him like she once was. Can we blame her? No. Do we blame her? Sometimes. In the minds of many men, we think we are doing right by giving our special someone more time. We assume this is necessary for us to make her happy, or we assume we have to pull back on being the alpha we were because we are now a "Relationship Guy." These assumptions can cause us to maybe work out less, fall off of our body sculpting diet plan, spend more money than we were spending, stop hanging out with our friends, or stop engaging in the creative outlets that were becoming increasingly meaningful. These were merely some examples, and there are many others which could be used, but it all comes back to the amount of time we assume MUST BE SPENT WITH HER. This woman, who has taken our hearts, is a woman who showed her eager availability to a man who was working out, taking care of his body, showing control with his money, had a cool circle of friends, was often very busy, and showed a unique talent with his creative gifts. If we fall back on any of these things, or any vital things about you that were not mentioned, we not only start to harm ourselves, leading to insecurities and projections, we also stop being that KING our QUEEN invested all of her eggs into. She put all of her eggs into one basket, assuming we would remain the man we were when we met, so we do no justice to ourselves, our woman, or the world when we hold back on anything we once found essential to us.